At camp on Friday night we have a night of sharing, singing and praying called Family Forum. Campers are encouraged to share what they have learned, struggles and victories that they have felt in the past week. So many come forward and share things and then are prayed over by their friends/ brothers and sisters in Christ afterwards. The love felt in that place is overwhelming.
As a counselor, it is different to watch this night. I am flooded with sympathy, empathy and prayers for each camper I have called my own. Filled with pride for their victories and happiness if they say that I have been able to help.
But this post isn't about them.
Its about what happens when the room clears out and there are just a few people left. One of my girls sat with another counselor and so I went to give support for her, to let her know I was there, to comfort her. And we did. We listened to her and prayed after. And then we hugged her. And then a friend hugged me. I thought it was just a hug but for some reason he wouldn't let go.
And then, the tears came. Without warning from me, he knew what I needed right then and there was support. And he gave it.
I still don't know how he knew, or why he decided to hang on to the hug but he did. And even though I've told him thank you, I still wonder why you know, and I still wanna say thank you over and over because the theme of the week was Encounters with God, and I know that He was there for me that night.
So thank you friend, for showing me God. Thank you very much.

Killer Tofu

remember all the stuff we wanted off of TV growing up? Remember all the shows that were AWESOME? well, if you dont, go here. Its like failblog but it wins and makes you awfully nostalgic for the old days :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p7c3bQQmwVE

I have been told the parables of Jesus since birth. No really, thats what happens when you grow up CoC- the parables get ingrained into you. You hear them over and over and accept what you are told about them, no questions asked. Ever.

But then you hear it. The story is no longer just another Sunday School lesson. Its God, speaking to you telling you something you need to hear, prompting you to ask questions;Do I believe what has been fed to me or do I have my own faith? Who am I in this story? What can I do to not be that person?

Todays question is "Am I really worth it to leave those 99 sheep to come and find me?"
Wherever I ended up getting off the path, am I important enough to leave others unattended? Do I resent those who come in last and get the same amount as I did for less work? Why do I care about the amount of work when its for your glory? How much longer until I realize I can stop feeding pigs and come home?

Ok, so more than one question but we read more than one parable. And there are so many more to read and let God speak to me through. How is God speaking to you?

There is something in my spirit that has loved the places books are able to take me. This love was instilled as soon as I taught myself how to read and it has never left. I've never found a book that could get the best of me, I eventually finish everything. In some cases, I simply never put the book down and read until it is finished.

Needless to say, the summer I was 16 I drove three places, to work, home from work and to the library. I have this system, wander down an aisle and pick up books with interesting artwork/titles and read the back. If the summary seemed to be something that remotely interested me, I would read it. I have read many random books that way!

One book I picked up was called "Summer Promise". It was the first book in a series about a girl who was 15. Her name was Christy Miller and she lived this way cool life in California with friends who loved God. It took me a bit(maybe a month) to track down all the books but I did it and read her entire love story with God and the man who he made for her (the series ends with her graduating college and getting married). The author saw fit to pen books for two other important characters in Christy's life. Sierra and Katie. I have been reading the Katie series for the last three years (one book every summer) and love how this fictional character goes through some of the same struggles I go through. Anyway, this last book is called Coming Attractions. It hints at the things God has planned for our lives as coming attractions and that we are to wait on him until they arrive. At one point in the book, Katie writes herself this reminder of God's plan:
Dear Katie, I have it all figured out. Keep trusting me and stay tuned for coming attractions. Don't forget: You too are a victim of my grace.
Love, God
The grace-victim thing will be another post for another day :)

With all the thinking about my future, graduation and what I will do after, it is hard to remember that God knows. When I ask for his guidance he will be there in the still small whisper as long as I am still and waiting for his answer.

Wow, this post turned out to be longer than I expected but I wanted to leave you with this verse

Point out the road I must travel;
I'm all ears, all eyes before you.


Teach me how to live to please you,
because you're my God.
Psalm 143:8, 10

Just another manic monday
-nearly finished painting the bathroom
-saw an old friend and laughed obnoxiously at high school shenanigans we pulled
-had a hankering for, bought and ate cookie cake
-had my grandfather get taken to the hospital for what, we don't know yet but think it is because of the aforementioned paint
-home before 11 jeeves.
- finished how i met your mother and am anxiously awaiting Sept. 21
- one month and twenty three days until my birthday. im saying this because last years day while thoroughly enjoyable was not the day i desired with friends. this year better be awesome so im getting the idea in your head now. So kaitlin and amanda [who are the only people reading this....or at least commenting :)] youve got a little time ;)

Just another manic monday.........

sometimes i just have to throw up my hands and ask "what more do you want from me?" im not like them. I never was. Hi im Courtney your theatre-loving/desk job hating/ bad with money daughter who cant keep her room clean, does her best to never let her friends down and cant say no if someone asks nicely. I over schedule myself, am slightly ADD and a little Dyslexic im sure of it. I talk too fast and buy too much shampoo and not enough conditioner. I hate taking out the trash and love loading the dishwasher. i still think its special if someone wants to do something with me included. i hate talking to people on the phone, love to text and sometimes have a very horrible vocabulary but I love God, I love my family and I love my friends. i do what i do to make others happy so that maybe one day, i can be happy in return.

what more do you want from me?