29 September, 2008

im so tired of couple crap. it seems like (emphasis on the seems) everyone else is able to find someone to have. but not me….heaven forbid it seems. I know that with being a couple you end up doing things with other couples and I want to be happy for them being all happy and stuff but I feel sooo left out. the ugly, fat third wheel that is ok to hang out with maybe during the week, but come Friday night its couples skate only. and that hurts. a lot. I don’t want to be the whiny friend that demands attention….because who wants to be that? but I don’t want to be ignored. its such an awkward time to be a single girl here .its frightening to think that ill be leaving here to start life once more…..but alone.
heres the funny part…..its all jealousy! I cant wait until I get the chance to do couple stuff…….its something im looking forward to.

my stomach still hates me. i thought we were making such wonderful progress........

20 September, 2008

So my stomach is revolting against me :( its pretty sad, i am not supposed to eat tons of things to help move everything along its just taking its own sweet time...lame!

I am seeing, i am trying and i am learning. some days are better than others but i am taking it one step at a time. im being encouraged by the smallest things.

i would like to go on a mission trip.....wanna come with me?

17 September, 2008

Revelations #1

Lay your burdens down, every care you carry
And come to the table of grace for there is mercy
Come just as you are, we are all unworthy
To enter the presence of God, for He is holy
Lift up your heart, lift up your hands
Fall on your knees and pray.
For the King of Kings and the love He brings
Is here in this place.
We raise our voices, raise our song.
We offer Him our praise.
For the King of Kings and the joy He brings
Is here, He is here in this place

Its something I have been searching for for a very long time now.
I've finally found it.
21 years of hurt turmoil and confusion seem awfully frustrating now, especially since "Love Hurts"

But unless you have truly felt unloved, convinced yourself that it was an impossible task you won't understand what I am saying.
Today I was content. The day was beautiful and I wore a new shirt. And all I could think about was this moment of love. Every moment brought up a new memory. I think I laughed more, I felt more like myself today.

And it was good.

On a side note, I feel as if I am being called to go on a mission trip.......and called to encourage someone. But with where I am right now with God, so unsure of my footing it seems so odd that this is so clear. But it is!

14 September, 2008

So my posts have been really odd lately.
and im sorry for that.

Lets see, an actual update?
Well, tomorrow starts the fourth week of school! I am really enjoying all of my classes so far. I have Medieval European History, which is sometimes over my head, French 101 which is really fun and entertaining although all those years of Spanish are haunting me, its hard to leave one language behind for another that is so similar. I am also taking American Government. I thought it would be a really good time to take it and I LOVE the teacher. She is really passionate about the subject and it shows. My non MWF classes (read tues-thurs) are Christ and Culture, a discussion class at 730, with all that entails, Swimming (the activities class component of gym-ness) and 222 (will work for free), So you see, this could possibly be a straight-A semester for me! I am also working at least 2 hours 6 days a week! I work in the costume shop and its great!

Today was an odd day, I woke up and it was oddly hot in my room, i went to the bathroom, flipped the switch and nothing happened! See, last night we had a HUGE storm (the after-effects of Ike) and a huge transformer fell over cutting off the electricity to all of the girl dorms and some of the guys. Getting ready for church this morning was special. Anyway, today has been a really long day because I haven't had much to do at all! I went to auditions for Spring Sing Host and Hostess tonight, O man, they have a HARD decision in front of them, everyone did really well. Then I chilled in Ambers room for a bit and now im back. I ought to read for Bible.....maybe later, we shall see.

I got to talk to Michelle today! I havent talked to her since she returned from the states but it was good to catch up, I hope she can visit soon!

So, my one complaint for this post- I never see my best friend anymore and Im tired of staying up past curfew (and my bedtime) to be able to talk. And yes, I just said it online!

Mostly b/c no one really reads this thing anymore.

"Doing what you like is Freedom. Liking what you do is Happiness"