tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-52355107223946734022024-02-06T22:59:15.782-06:00God on high, hear my prayer. In my need you have always been there.Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09897623696167669982noreply@blogger.comBlogger271125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5235510722394673402.post-57427468540447343212012-07-25T00:33:00.000-05:002012-07-25T00:33:23.218-05:00I read 3 blog-ish posts today.
The first was from a site called "to write love on her arms". Google it.
It was about a comic-blogger who was struggling with depression. She had in fact drawn a HILARIOUS post about how it feels to feel sad for no fcuking reason whatsoever. A post I frequent because it makes me laugh because I can relate
The second was this lady's response to the many "where are you" messages the interwebs were receiving on her behalf. Poor dear is struggling. She wrote her post on a good day and then got swallowed up with the bad. Thankfully, she pursued help and has a support system thats willing to put in work to help her.
Lucky
The third was a food blogger. Im not a devoted fan of many blogs at all, but this girl lost some major weight and didn't only eat cottage cheese and lemon water. She eats like a NORMAL person and it inspires me. So I hopped over there today. Come to find out, shes struggling with depression as well.
When I was first diagnosed, I thought that I could just get better. Or ignore it and pretend to be better. I did the latter for so long. I was great at it. I wish I could do it again. But for some reason, things are different. The little things get me down. I would LOVE to solve this my own way, but thats no good. I would tell my besties but they are far away, busy with their own lives or don't understand. I rely on God (who is there, don't get me wrong) who is enough, but not physically here to give me a hug and not let go until I cry it out.
Im not sure what the point of this post was but the fact that the things i read today pointed to what I was struggling with was too much to let fall into the "hmm, that was nice" corner of my mind. Somethings at work here
I pray its good.Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09897623696167669982noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5235510722394673402.post-53353139301758923452012-03-11T22:25:00.000-05:002012-03-11T22:25:53.119-05:00What God is doing latelyOk, so He is doing a LOT all the time. There is no doubt about that. But lately he has been doing so much in my life.
Most all of it deals with LOVE
And not in the romantic way so don't even go there.
God has been showing me SO MUCH that I am loved. And in the places where I didn't think it was. Or could be.
He has shown me that people are pulling for me, that they want to see me succeed. That they pay attention and are willing to sacrifice for me, invite me places. This simply blows me away. I do not think myself deserving of such but for some strange reason, God does! He has put these people in my life for a reason, clearly.
Thanks, God. I love you too!Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09897623696167669982noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5235510722394673402.post-47475141313438842352012-01-25T22:07:00.003-06:002012-01-25T22:07:48.583-06:00Depression sucks. It doesnt hurt me but it sure messes up my life.
Just because I can identify that I am feeling blue does't mean I can shake it, turn my frown upside down and be my "old self" again.
However, because I can identify that I am feeling blue means that I can try harder to fix my thoughts, to be proactive and not let the depression win. So today I ate, tried to laugh and did my best to remove myself from sadness/let it happen and MOVE ON. If I let it win, if I sit and wallow in depression I end up falling into old habits.
I was miserable back then. Here's hoping being proactive is the way to go!Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09897623696167669982noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5235510722394673402.post-2603776789376378352012-01-19T21:37:00.000-06:002012-01-19T21:37:36.213-06:00Waiting part 2Wait
be patient
be still
pause
rest. Rest assured that I have a plan.
Stay. Stay here where I need you to be.
abide
expect. Expect that the promises I have made for you will come to fruition
hold on
remain
save it. Save those emotions, that love. There IS something in the future.
watch
stick around. Stick around...watch what happens next!
lie in wait
anticipate. My plans are HUGE. Far larger than the ones you desire. Anticipate the bigger picture.
Did you know that in Hebrew and Spanish, the word for wait is the same? (Spanish is espera)Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09897623696167669982noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5235510722394673402.post-35842316735156318632012-01-16T22:01:00.003-06:002012-01-16T22:26:49.911-06:00Waiting.There are many things I have been praying for. So many things my heart desires and I have asked...and quite literally BEGGED...God for. <br />I have a problem with desiring instant gratification. <br />I want to know the future now<br />I would like to know what Gods plans for me are<br />I want to have someone to love, and to love me in return<br /> <br />I want. I have. I. I. I. What a selfish, unthankful girl that I seem to be from all that! But thats not what I intended to write. <br /><br />God told me to wait this weekend. Thats it. Wait. <br />Simple huh? <br />Did you read everything that I just wrote? Thats CLEARLY the opposite of simple to me. I REALLY had a hard time accepting that Saturday. It put me in a mood. It made me cry. And then I got to worship<br /><span style="font-style:italic;"><br />Oh Im running to your arms, Im running to your arms. The riches of your love will always be enough. Nothing compares to your embrace. Light of the world forever reign!<br /></span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Wait</span> for the Lord whose day is near. <span style="font-weight:bold;">Wait</span> for the Lord. Be strong, take heart.<br /><br />Whom you love, I'll love. Who you serve I'll serve in this life I live I will follow you!<br /><br />After a night of worship like we had, I couldn't help but know that God was the absolute truth and that in the word "wait" was a promise. <br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;"><span style="font-weight:bold;">Oh daughter, wait. Wait and do not hurry this gift of today. Tomorrows troubles will be numerous, don't rush them. Wait here where I have put you. There is a future for you. But here is where you need to stay. When the time is right. Until then, rest, pause, be content and wait. I never forget a promise. </span></span>Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09897623696167669982noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5235510722394673402.post-64799185057083247062011-11-06T14:38:00.003-06:002011-11-06T15:03:05.131-06:00I really wish the title of this post could be "Always a Bridesmaid, never the bride" but I just don't feel that way! I am so happy for friends who get engaged its crazy! <br />This weekend, I found out my lifelong friends Kristen and Jonathan got engaged. Those stinkers kept it to themselves for a whole WEEK! Kristen, sweet girl that she is, has asked me to be a bridesmaid! How exciting! <br /><br />Cue the diet thoughts. <br />Cue the OBSESSIVE diet thoughts, <br /><br />I have 279 days until their wedding. aka just over 39 weeks. Im setting some HIGH goals here and going for 1 pound a week. This is no joke. Ive already begun "better" habits simply for health reasons. Now I have a HUGE motivator-dont be the incredibly obese bridesmaid.<br /><br />I love goals. I love making them. I SUCK at keeping up with them. Hopefully I can change this into a habit. <br /><br />here goesCourtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09897623696167669982noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5235510722394673402.post-10269373202633193282011-11-01T20:31:00.002-05:002011-11-01T20:44:27.482-05:00Well, October happened and I didnt Blog. <br />And the world didnt end haahaha!<br /> But its November now. To some, its no-shave november, to others its Movember (in honor of Mens Health month). For me its Challenge Month. <br />Ive decided to challenge myself to a few things<br />1. Post a "thankful" post to facebook everyday<br />2. Do this really short workout everyday (in addition to walking with Bob) <br />3. Drastically cut down on how much fast food I eat each week (2x or less)<br />3. Drastically cut down on how many cokes I drink each week (3 or less)<br />4. Finally get my room clean. I've honestly been giving this a half-effort since September but its hard to keep up with. I also can see hoarder tendencies in the way/fact that Im NOT cleaning so this MUST end. And soon. <br /><br />So these are my goals. Maybe they are pre-resolutions. Thats ok. Why wait for the new year?Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09897623696167669982noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5235510722394673402.post-34918352329283044902011-09-22T21:42:00.002-05:002011-09-22T21:47:32.976-05:00Started a book study with the HS girls about praying for their future husbands, praying for themselves while doing it. So excited to share the book with them as it encourages their prayer lives. <br />I have been so content being single, feeling blessed by the freedom it has allowed me lately in my work and in my free time<br />but today<br />today<br />today, all i want is a date to see The Lion King. <br /><br />Do I have anyone special in mind? No, God hasn't shown me anyone yet. But I had to tell <span style="font-style:italic;">someone</span> and this venue seemed to be the best...no <span style="font-style:italic;">only</span> way to share it.<br /><br />Really, I need an excuse to get all dolled up and be pretty for me...not someone else! ME!<br /><br />Being single is frustrating! Oh my.Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09897623696167669982noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5235510722394673402.post-63916942459215601022011-09-19T14:18:00.003-05:002011-09-19T14:48:47.970-05:00My other Best Friends WeddingLets just start by stating that a girl can have (and needs) more than on best friend. Im pretty sure I have 5...though we havent ever sealed it by getting "Best Friends Forever" necklaces that break in half and remind us of each other. I think they are wonderfully cheesy tho hahaha!<br /><br />Last year, I was maid of honor to my college roommate. Classic best friend story yeah? It was great fun and a memory of that will be in my heart always. <br /><br />This past weekend, I was there for my oldest friends wedding. She didnt have a wedding party (in classic Mandy "i dont do things like Americans do" fashion) but did surround herself with her friends. I was honored this weekend to be among them and have a hand in the ceremony (close friends walked the aisle, prayed with them during the ceremony and I was in charge of the train!). The intimacy of this ceremony was like none I had ever seen or been a part of. It was beautiful and classy and unique. Perfect. <br /><br />But there were many moments that made me think. Mostly about the traditional "Mother of the Bride" jobs. I know Im not one to speak on typical family roles, I'll be the first to admit that I'm not as close to my family as I would like to be...but that its my fault as much as theirs, however there are some VERY important things I want my mom to be involved in as/if my life got to the part where I get married. <br /><br />1. Dress Shopping<br />2. the rehearsal <br />3. getting ready<br />4. changing into the "get away" dress<br /><br />I also know that she will make me crazy in all of that. ALL of it. Its who she is, its our relationship. Its what I expect. And thats ok. But it is my desire to have all of that. And until then, to grow our relationship. Because I love my friends. They are the family i chose. But the family I grew up with, the one I was born into....they deserve work too.Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09897623696167669982noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5235510722394673402.post-75299280137632276582011-08-14T23:25:00.002-05:002011-08-14T23:40:33.611-05:00So a LOT has happened since I last blogged.
<br />
<br />1. I quit my job
<br />2. I got a job that pays 3x my old one (Im the nanny to Austin and Adaline-3 month old twins!)
<br />3. I decided that I am worth it. "It" is respect and complements and love and time and and and. Im trying to find confidence in myself and exude that confidence.
<br />4. Im doing my best to pray more. Because my mind is doing its best to worry more. I cant stand how much im worrying-and its getting me nowhere fast. I also have some very specific things on my heart that I need to pester God with :)
<br />5. I moved back in with my parents. As much as im loving the free food and the U-Verse tv, I am so ready to be on my own....again. I love my family and it is nice seeing them more often but I am 23.....OH so close to being 24! I have goals of catching up on my loan payments, putting money in my savings account (again) and getting my own place. (one that takes dogs....i also plan on having a dog)
<br />I think that about sums it up for now! Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09897623696167669982noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5235510722394673402.post-49747674715416511612011-06-12T13:56:00.003-05:002011-06-12T13:57:26.272-05:00I know I put FAR too much stock in people liking/being pleased with me and I know I need to look to God for ultimate approval but I really hate that I've done something wrong. <br /><br />I feel like a little kid again.Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09897623696167669982noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5235510722394673402.post-84336033331539745762011-05-30T23:13:00.002-05:002011-05-30T23:28:55.575-05:00oh heavens. I have got to figure out this weight-loss thing. I eat too much junk but still not enough "points" for weight watchers, loss doesnt happen fast enough for me, I dont exercise as regularly as i should.<br /><br />But its HARD WORK. emphasis on the work part. There is a lot of me to lug around. Shit, howd I let myself get this way? I disgust even myself! I look at the people on weight loss shows and im jealous of their support system, of the fact that they have someone to push them. Im jealous of the results, the time they get to spend working out and the real tips they get on eating. <br /><br />theres so much in my life that my weight is holding me back from. plus if my body is Gods temple, what am i saying about God? ugh. i wish i had someone to talk to this about. i feel like my mom sets me up to fail, and i learned from the best so.......Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09897623696167669982noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5235510722394673402.post-14244579003664380442011-05-08T21:31:00.002-05:002011-05-08T21:52:33.413-05:00Sometimes I get overwhelmed. I don't want to get out of bed or do anything. My thoughts begin to doubt the people who love me and the positive things they say and instead, I begin to think about....no dwell on every negative thing ever. <br /><br />Its tough<br /><br />And even though I can now see that Im slipping, that Im not happy anymore.....again.......the climb back to the top of this valley is ridiculous. Its mostly quicksand and tiny handholds that I can barely grip. I cry out to God, expecting this majestically large hand to reach in and then I can grab onto the edge of His pinky nail and He pulls me out. When this doesn't happen, I sink further, the light at the top becomes dimmer and dimmer and I swear nothing but the thought that God won't leave you, all things happen to His glory, that nothing I go through in life is useless is the only thing that keeps me going. My faith, my hope keeps me from giving up.<br /><br />But right now, that faith is shaky. It is so hard to believe that God really has a plan for me. I never thought about life this far ahead besides the typical desire to marry and have a family. I never planned what job I would have or gave myself goals. Its a weird feeling but its like God didn't either. I feel like it doesn't matter to Him what I do, what moves I make, what path I take. I feel invaluable to this amazing being that gave His son up for me and now its like I have disappointed Him and he doesn't care. He is punishing me. And Im just sitting here, wondering what I can do to make Him happy, to be in his favor again so my life can once again have joy and peace and love. <br /><br />This is where Im living. In a constant state of questioning things, life, love, trust, people. Everything. This place Im living, I hate it. Anyone got answers to my questions?Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09897623696167669982noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5235510722394673402.post-18864466898400693582011-05-03T09:00:00.004-05:002011-05-03T09:11:45.688-05:00the nice guysIn the youth group I volunteer with, there is this trio. 2 guys and a girl. They are all great friends and spend a lot of their time away from the yg with each other when they can. Each member trio makes me laugh, confides in me and has taught me in their own ways. <br /><br />They also wrapped my car in saran wrap and stole it. Two separate occasions.<br /><br />So, to "repay" me for their pranks, they took me on a geocache where the end result was a present they put together for me! A sweet note, some smell-good stuff, a gift card to the best cupcake shop on earth AND a bracelet that says "faith, hope, love" to match my tattoo<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrQ2KTDx2d3NeVbrAKo2dZ80Skm0fb8bL0FZvyLL-TTafyEORdxL76vrVbWh3fOoPO2zhe291WLKOR8zWOVcdtqihgVKSPPOtuDQSvIOnZz_OAY32Alf-0Fu-RSx2wS8oXoi1QXVTbQg/s1600/bracelet_PewterCross-Faith-Hope_Love_MAIN_200.jpeg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 253px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrQ2KTDx2d3NeVbrAKo2dZ80Skm0fb8bL0FZvyLL-TTafyEORdxL76vrVbWh3fOoPO2zhe291WLKOR8zWOVcdtqihgVKSPPOtuDQSvIOnZz_OAY32Alf-0Fu-RSx2wS8oXoi1QXVTbQg/s320/bracelet_PewterCross-Faith-Hope_Love_MAIN_200.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5602491908556513122" /></a><br /><br />Let me first say that Im really glad they know how much those words mean to me. Period. I mean, I know why I got them permanently placed on my body but I also know I dont articulate thingsto the degree that I want to. They searched for this bracelet because they knew. <br /><br />Anyway, next to each word is a small picture faith has a cross, love a heart and hope, well hope has an anchor. I love hope. Its my favorite. Hope is what keeps the Disney magic in me going, the fun, colorful parts of me that people seem to love? Thats hope. Hope is an anchor for faith. I LOVE that imagery. The disciples hoped that they would make it through the storm and while Jesus said they had little faith He never said they didnt have any. I think the little that they had was strung on hopes anchor.Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09897623696167669982noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5235510722394673402.post-42924442506662870212011-04-19T18:52:00.002-05:002011-04-19T18:56:50.508-05:00A hand to hold, A shoulder to cry onthats what Im missing about my HU friends right now. Someone who can be there further than the pity drinks they are so willing to buy. <br /><br />These are the times when I miss sonic runs, and the dorm and walks around campus and so many more other times of randomness when My friends and I got to just be there for each other. Im so jealous of those moments! Anyway....if you read this, say a prayer for me. These next two days arent going to be the easiest in my life. I truly hate funerals.Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09897623696167669982noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5235510722394673402.post-39181037217944219542011-04-17T21:34:00.002-05:002011-04-17T21:46:58.371-05:00Booty Campok, its not really called booty camp, thats just what we've nick-named it...you know cos it will kick you in the booty? ha...ha?<br /><br />I completed my first full week (4 days) this past week. Boot camp actually started the week before...and so did I but then came down with the WORST sinus infection ever! So this week was my first full week. I really enjoyed it! As sore as I come out of it, I can already feel a change in myself- for one thing, I don't tire as easily! During the workouts, and after all I crave is water so that has helped as well. I really like learning new exercises and challenging myself...which lets face it aint hard. Its really hard to move all this weight around to try and do some of these things though. I can see now that this is going to be a journey. It won't be easy to lose this weight-its going to take work. A lot more work than I thought but I feel up to the challenge. <br /><br />I just bought a swimsuit because the youth group is going to the beach in two weeks. I know that miracles wont happen between then and now, but 5 pounds will make a difference! 10 pounds would be fabulous. We will see real life ain't like The Biggest Loser! Anyway, I felt bad this weekend because I didnt work out Friday or Saturday....however I did a LOT of housework Saturday so I think that counts towards my goal. I just did a 30 min. mini workout while watching TV. It felt good to be moving again and I think Ill make it a goal to do that more often! <br />I will be ready for camp<br />I will walk up the hill more often this year! <br />I will be able to do regular burpees soon! <br />I will eat healthier!<br />I can and I will!Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09897623696167669982noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5235510722394673402.post-75775266605456807802011-03-26T13:36:00.003-05:002011-03-26T13:40:06.315-05:00I had two teeth removed on Thursday morning. <br />No complications, no pain really, I felt fantastic the day after (yesterday) and went out to eat with my friends. <br />Today however. Today I feel/felt like crap. All the energy and life I had yesterday was ZAP gone and Im now back in bed, resting and hoping that I can get some things done today. Ugh! Im not liking this feeling at all.Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09897623696167669982noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5235510722394673402.post-27299991769581103672011-03-16T22:18:00.002-05:002011-03-16T22:23:34.488-05:00i am RIDICULOUSLY dependent on facebook and twitter for entertainment. Its official. and annoying. However, having the constant feeling to check on everything there makes me want to check in with God and talk to him....so i guess this fasting of sorts is working. <br /><br />however i did click onto twitter twice today, simply out of habit. my iphone doesnt want me to miss out on social media lol! <br /><br />in other news, i was hit on at church today. no, not for real (at least i really dont think so) but since a friend is in town from school, we went out for gelatto! We did debate between beniegts and that for a second and the theme of "something sweet" came up and this guy i never met said "it doesnt matter where we-we've got you!" bahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahahahahahahaha<br /><br />im still awkwardly laughing about that. <br />oh man.Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09897623696167669982noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5235510722394673402.post-68167459304238558512011-03-16T06:18:00.002-05:002011-03-16T06:25:23.140-05:00its about 6:20 am wednesday morning and i want to be on twitter. i need someone to know that blackbird is one of my favorite songs ever and it made my heart happy to hear Kurt sing it on Glee. <br /><br />seriously? who am i to force everything in my brain on someone else?<br /><br />anywho, ive given up Twitter and facebook for the next three days so i can pray about a interview that I will have on Friday. So im doing my best to focus on God and NOT on fb and twitter. <br /><br />its 6:24 and I really want to tweet about it. ughCourtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09897623696167669982noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5235510722394673402.post-62334326992658315702011-03-08T09:06:00.002-06:002011-03-08T09:11:40.009-06:00Yesterday was a terrible, horrible, no good very bad day. I wanted to move to Australia and pick my toes to get away from life yesterday. But then something strange and awesome happened<br /><br />A friend called. And while I had been begging for a phone call or a text from a close friend, God once again gave me Mac n Cheese instead of plain bread. He gave me conversation, encouragement, a sympathetic....no an empathetic ear to the struggles I had encountered that very day. Now, who knows why L called me? He claimed it was to right the wrong of the fact that we hadnt spoken in a year (not because of a fight just because as adults with jobs we are....busy) and that was good and wonderful and Im so very glad to hear his voice and hear that he is alright but I needed someone who was with me in my trench to talk to and God gave me that. <br /><br />God is awesome!Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09897623696167669982noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5235510722394673402.post-55527055582963411132011-03-01T08:18:00.003-06:002011-03-01T08:34:34.573-06:00Marching onI didn't blog in February. I tried to. I wrote lots of things then I would leave the page because nothing was going anywhere. It seemed so pointless. Plus, so much happened. I cannot possibly begin to expound upon that but lets just say that my imaginary readers are lucky that I didnt whine about Valentines day, my new job or rising gas prices. <br /><br />In just 6 short months, I will be 24. 24.....ummm what? Thats no longer "early twenties" thats well on the way to "mid-twenties". Ummmm seriously? I cannot possibly be nearing mid twenties because people in their mid twenties know what they want to do with their lives. They have life goals, 5 year plans, spouses...sometimes even children. Me? Im perfectly content with saying "Im here for now because God said stay. I know He wants more from me one day and Im biding my time until He says go". But even people at church look at me funny when I say that. My parents are good about it though, still very supportive. However there is a part of me that is saying "What kind of terrible, lazy daughter are you to not go get a job that pays back all your student loans by the time youre 26 and then you can pay back your parents for everything, save money and be able to give freely?". That part of me is easily silenced with the part of me that likes to be crafty (because shes louder than analytical Courtney) but she is still there, naggingly perfect in her work suit and low-heeled practical shoes, representing so many people who need me to be more and can't find it in themselves to trust with me that God has a bigger plan than we can see. So im marching on. Continuing each day praying that I am doing the right things while God shows me that I am. While he shows me that being trusted can be overwhelming because I cannot solve anything without His help and guidance. While he shows me that working CAN be fun, you ought to enjoy what you do and that whatever people say about what you ought to do-it doesnt matter as long as you LISTEN to what God says "here is what I want you to do"Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09897623696167669982noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5235510722394673402.post-43758180956007442822011-01-24T17:53:00.001-06:002011-01-24T17:55:05.700-06:00Job Wanted35-40 hours and at least 9$/hr<br />need to have weekends off<br />must be able to work camp two weeks<br />and spend all the time i want/need/can with the teens. <br /><br />pray for meCourtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09897623696167669982noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5235510722394673402.post-45535178723283420832011-01-22T14:04:00.001-06:002011-01-22T14:05:39.819-06:00I want to, one day be on The Biggest Loser.<br /><br />I want to, one day be at a point in my life where The Biggest Loser doesn't want me bc Im only a few pounds overweight.<br /><br />what crazy goals i haveCourtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09897623696167669982noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5235510722394673402.post-53773832821000256802011-01-19T20:55:00.002-06:002011-01-19T21:27:43.577-06:00uncertaintyI don't believe that God promises certainty for our lives. He promises a certain finish, he promises that when we follow Him, our lives work out to His purpose but he doesn't say "Follow me and nothing will ever be shaky. Follow me and change will be a piece of cake and not knowing what tomorrow will bring is like a surprise for you everyday." Nope. Unless you subscribe to the book of 1 Courtney 24 (its after the chapter where I wonder aloud at God why there aren't any unicorns), then there isn't any assurance that life is smooth sailing. I think the story of Peter walking after Jesus on the water is a primo example of that-Here Peter is with Jesus everyday and even he gets distracted by the waves and they begin to overtake him. It isn't until he asks for help that Jesus helps him but when Peter asks, there isn't a moments hesitation. God plans to be there for us when those waves start to crash in.<br /><br />I feel like uncertainty is the theme of my week so far. I got back from an awesome, uplifting, spiritually challenging weekend and have had several rugs pulled out from under me. The rug of a job, the rug of my housing situation. So many things have been tossed up in the air, I almost feel like I ought to jump up there with them. But this all makes me so much more grateful for the weekend I just had, for the rock in this storm that God is being and that I feel utterly dependent on Him for my decisions. Because I would be freaking out even more than I already am about this. Im in prayer over so many things right now-what DO i do with my life now? Is this the time for a change? Where does God want me right now? and billions more. Luckily I believe that God hears these constant questions and as I give each one up to him, I feel unburdened all over again.Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09897623696167669982noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5235510722394673402.post-44654046814102950812011-01-13T18:57:00.002-06:002011-01-13T19:03:08.505-06:00Old goals, bigger reasonsMy goals (resolutions) for this year just got real. Like real real. I just gave away my swimsuits to goodwill. The youth group is going to the beach in April. Therefore, I need to purchase a new swimsuit by April. Will it be in the size I am now? FUCK NO. Im also not sorry for that language. Because I mean it. Also, sometime this summer a few will be participating in Wilderness Trek. I know what youre thinking. Courtney, do you REALLY want to climb a mountain and not be connected to...anything for a week? And the answer is....yeah. I didnt go when I was in high school-I let people talk me out of it but not this time. Even if I cant take the time off of work, Id like to be healthy enough to contemplate it. <br /><br />So there we go. swimsuit season now looms upon us all......Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09897623696167669982noreply@blogger.com0