Job Wanted

35-40 hours and at least 9$/hr
need to have weekends off
must be able to work camp two weeks
and spend all the time i want/need/can with the teens.

pray for me

I want to, one day be on The Biggest Loser.

I want to, one day be at a point in my life where The Biggest Loser doesn't want me bc Im only a few pounds overweight.

what crazy goals i have

uncertainty

I don't believe that God promises certainty for our lives. He promises a certain finish, he promises that when we follow Him, our lives work out to His purpose but he doesn't say "Follow me and nothing will ever be shaky. Follow me and change will be a piece of cake and not knowing what tomorrow will bring is like a surprise for you everyday." Nope. Unless you subscribe to the book of 1 Courtney 24 (its after the chapter where I wonder aloud at God why there aren't any unicorns), then there isn't any assurance that life is smooth sailing. I think the story of Peter walking after Jesus on the water is a primo example of that-Here Peter is with Jesus everyday and even he gets distracted by the waves and they begin to overtake him. It isn't until he asks for help that Jesus helps him but when Peter asks, there isn't a moments hesitation. God plans to be there for us when those waves start to crash in.

I feel like uncertainty is the theme of my week so far. I got back from an awesome, uplifting, spiritually challenging weekend and have had several rugs pulled out from under me. The rug of a job, the rug of my housing situation. So many things have been tossed up in the air, I almost feel like I ought to jump up there with them. But this all makes me so much more grateful for the weekend I just had, for the rock in this storm that God is being and that I feel utterly dependent on Him for my decisions. Because I would be freaking out even more than I already am about this. Im in prayer over so many things right now-what DO i do with my life now? Is this the time for a change? Where does God want me right now? and billions more. Luckily I believe that God hears these constant questions and as I give each one up to him, I feel unburdened all over again.

Old goals, bigger reasons

My goals (resolutions) for this year just got real. Like real real. I just gave away my swimsuits to goodwill. The youth group is going to the beach in April. Therefore, I need to purchase a new swimsuit by April. Will it be in the size I am now? FUCK NO. Im also not sorry for that language. Because I mean it. Also, sometime this summer a few will be participating in Wilderness Trek. I know what youre thinking. Courtney, do you REALLY want to climb a mountain and not be connected to...anything for a week? And the answer is....yeah. I didnt go when I was in high school-I let people talk me out of it but not this time. Even if I cant take the time off of work, Id like to be healthy enough to contemplate it.

So there we go. swimsuit season now looms upon us all......

I have a new obsession

Of course, its expensive. But its fun and makes me feel good.

I know you're all (or is it just you?) dying to know what it is

its Corks N Canvas. For 35$ I sit for two hours, have a glass of wine with my friends and get taught how to make a masterpiece! I absolutely love it. Ive been twice now and can honestly say that it's one of the best things Ive done in a while



this was my finished product from the private party i attended on Saturday. Way fun, cute, I added my own style (no mustard yellow-the light blue/purple color is a CDM original) and the painting is hanging in my living room! Anyway, if anyone ever feels like visiting lil ol me....this is SOOOO one of the things we will be doing. Just thought you ought to know :)

Crushes, even tiny little ones , make life difficult. I even prayed about it. Thats right, I asked God to take these feelings away because Im not ready and Im sure the feelings aren't reciprocated. I guess now isn't the time He wanted them gone. Oh well.

In other news. I am looking for a second job. I was planning on doing this anyway, just a few hours somewhere but cutbacks at work have made it priority because student loans won't pay back themselves. Its amazingly ridiculous how expensive life is. Im not paying rent and I am still broke every month! Of course, one day I won't have to worry about all these bills. They will be paid back and I will be a happy camper....with other bills but hopefully no more than basic living expenses.

At the end of this week Im going to Florida! So excited to spend the weekend worshipping, learning and spending time with some of my favorite people. Weekends like this are always a great encouragement to me! Even if the beach will be freezing cold, we are staying in some NICE condos and will still be in Florida. Where will YOU be?

temper temper

you know how sometimes you want to kick and scream and throw yourself on the floor and you know it wont help but it seems like it could?
me too
this is my version of an "adult" temper tantrum





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hitting a keyboard is VERY theraputic