Things I learned from Sex and the City

(don't worry, these will be clean)
So, I have spent this last week in mostly, with nothing big planned watching the ENTIRE series of SATC. I laughed, cried and learned with them and I often wondered if SJP would ever button her shirt down past her bra line. Seriously, you aren't a lyrical dancer, buttons are there for a reason.
But I digress, the most important thing I learned was that everyone deserves the best friends. The kind that know you, the kind that you can lean on and that will lean on you. The kind that will both avoid and address topics that could hurt you and the kind that refrain from saying "I told you so" and will hold you when you cry.
I learned that it is ok to shop your feelings away (this was merely confirmed)
I learned that relationships can look wonderful on the outside but be terrible on the inside
I learned that people can and cannot change. It depends both on their willingness and the type of person they are
I learned that if people aren't willing to change, there is little reason to put faith in them
I learned that no matter how insignificant it seems, a broken crush still needs time to grieve
and lastly I learned exactly why my mother won't allow us to watch this show in the house hahahahahaha!

sometimes
"theres the kind of support you ask for and the kind of support you don't ask for. and then theres the kind that just shows up"

-Carrie, Sex and the City

i'd kill for any type right now.

of course, those who take the time already know, but this quote really hit me just now. and its causing me to ask the question
"Where are we for each other?"

# 200

200 posts on this blog. WOW!
Its huge, I mean, really theres alot on here about me, about my life, my friends, my feelings. I don't feel completely free on here to say everything, but I do say a lot. And really, its for me. This is an online journal where I can write some things that I feel like getting off my chest.
My friends are here too. Well, some of them. They blog about their lives, they share happiness and pain and victories and defeats.
I toyed around with how I could make this post really special I thought about making a list of 200 things about me (and you) but I can't honestly think about 200 things that you guys don't know about me. So, I figure I would tell YOU something that you may not know I think about you. Little things that I love about the people that I KNOW read my blog (because of comments left here like this semester)
So, here we go (in alphabetical order boys first, then girls...not playing favorites)

Kevin
can you believe it that we have made it here this long? so many fun times and memories! they are all just on big wonderful blur! We graduate in DECEMBER there should be a party. I love you

Kris
sweet guy! you have such a wonderful and giving heart and you love fun music and cars and are such a sweetheart. you are pretty much my favorite Kris with a K. Love you


Lucas
you are home! how wonderful! and you came to visit TWICE! even better. and you are a good friend and person. you have listened to me whine about the same thing over and over...and yet you are still my friend. i think you should go do a flip for those people over there :) love you


Amanda
remember that time when we went to england together? that was fun. and then we came back and had that room all to ourselves? oh and before that, Hurricane Katrina, 'hoods, our song about Michelle, La Finca, SVU, You're the one that I want, Dancing with the Stars (when is was AWESOME haha), watching to catch a predator and oh so many other things? we have been through so much, no one else here knows me like you do and you are a great person. sometimes we have ESP and its kind of freaky but I guess that are so close couldnt have anything less than that. I love you.

Amber
you are great! a wonderful roomate, a great piper and friend. you are an encouragement even when i would rather you not be so darn peppy :) im happy you confide in me and i hope that we continue to be great friends even when we arent roommates. and hey, we should watch the invisibles sometime soon! love you

Ashley
dear ebeneezor. I love that we can sit and "watch" tv for hours upon hours together and make up silly names and you are wonderful. do you know that? you are truly amazing. I don't think you hear that enough But i think you ought to know it. Love you

Kaitlin
Out of everyone on this list, we have known each other the longest. Honors Symposium was wonderful for me, remember you reading "The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas" and all of us feeling so very odd and ridiculously giggly after because that story was just so weird! I am so very glad that over the years, we have remained friends and theatre buddies and that we fet to go on Sonic dates. Our love for "In the Heights" is incomparable. I cannot believe that I am blessed to know someone with such a wonderful heart as yours! You are an amazing listener and I cannot believe how much I am going to miss you! I can't wait until we are older and have cats named Pebbles and Bam-Bam and live in Hawaii. Love you


Lauren
You and me, we are great friends! I have missed you so much while you have been adventuring in Italy and other places abroad. I'm glad we have matching shirts and share in a love for white v-necks. I cannot wait to hear all about your trip and finally go to Coltons! Love you


Mary
Oh mary mary, you are great! i think that you are funny and pretty [;)] and spending time with you is always great fun! costume shop for the past year....you sewing your finger, us talking about anything and everything. its been really great! Love you


Megan
we go on drives and share our lives. we have seen the church with the frogs and we pick on Adam. I couldnt ask for anyone else to do that with. Je t'aime. Tu es une belle amie

Michelle
Proof here that I am horrible with keeping in wonderful touch with friends, I miss you! I love your passion for whatever work you are doing and your amazing hope for the future. I miss so much our conversations late at night, when we both should have been sleeping, about amazing things, God, guys, gossip (the three G's?). I love seeing how your life unfolds as to the things you get to do! The amazing opportunities oh! I am so jealous! Love you

Friends are what makes my world go round. They are truly the family you get to choose and all of you have a huge place in my heart. I really do love all of you

sometimes people surprise me

they listen
they drive all night( and sort of go AWOL) to visit
they help us win Spring Sing :)

this has been a good weekend. it was great actually. i wish though that there had beem more time for everyone. i wish there were more here that i could share with

in other news, i dont like coke anymore. its gross. im all about getting used to Crystal Light and have been working on my kool-aid/sweet tea addiction.

Gonna Have to be honest here

Because the people who actually read this love and care about me (i hope/think)


Im struggling. You probably noticed. Chances are I told you I was fine
Chances are I have snapped at you about something silly. You should know I am sorry. I wish I could take it back. I'm sorry

I wish I weren't so ridiculous and that this wasn't going to be labeled as an "emo" post but its not just stress from school or Spring Sing. Its me. Theres something wrong and Im struggling with how to deal.

I need your prayers so I can pray again, I need a hug and a really good cry. But most of all, I wanna be a good friend. Help me to do that please.

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.

Romans 7:15

Pretty much sums up my life right now.

Marley & Me can make me cry
but otherwise I am pretty numb to what is going on around me.
I laugh at appropriate times and am still frustrated with others but I don't think it is actually what they say, its the motives behind the words.

Numb is nice right now.