Today

-i spent an enjoyable, nearly politic free afternoon with my family! We ate together, played the Wii and just enjoyed each other. Those times of just us four are rare now so it was truly cherished!
-our family party-planning committee put a huge dent in my dads no-longer surprise party. my mom and i got all the paper goods we will need...and somethings that will be a surprise to the birthday boy!
-i finally started packing for camp, which was my huge goal for today! my to-buy list has gotten a WHOLE lot shorter and im feeling better about something i usually am able to devote a whole lot better about.
- i was asked to babysit some of my favorite kids in the world! they asked for me FIRST! oh man, i wish i could have! it warms my heart that they love me!


Yesterday however, I went to Brookhaven, Mississippi. I went there to visit a friend in jail. I was absolutely terrified of what would happen because you see as many letters as I wrote and as many nights I stayed up late praying for his safety, I never sent the letters. I barely responded to the facebook messages sent through friends speaking of his current state. I was also scared of just being in prison. I don't remember it but we went to visit one of my uncles in jail often so I ought to know there really isnt anything to be afraid of but I couldn't prove that to my mind. As we drove my anxiety grew. A friend who has been a constant for Ben told the horror stories of his previous placements and how much nicer this place was. Honestly, he looked good-for where he was. We talked and I felt horrible for taking up so much precious time from everyone else. The one thing that lifted so much weight off of my shoulders was when he told me he meant to write me recently (he had no contact info so he couldnt). He said he wanted to write me and tell what was happening when we met, why he lied, why he can understand my anger and what he was running from and precisely why. It made me feel so much better about being angry and upset with him-I had previously thought I was in the wrong because he was hurting so much more than I could ever imagine. Anyway, that visit went well and then I played volleyball and went to IHOP.
I wish so much for days to end having spent the majority of its time with loved ones