Today, I decided to write Ben a card/letter that will actually get sent to him in the mail. I have written him at least one letter for every week since it happened but I haven't been able to send any. Some letters were angry. Some were sympathetic. Some were about my day.
I haven't been able to send any of them yet because I can't rationalize the things I want to say. I don't know how to make what I say significant. What happened has made me see so many things in a whole new way and given me nightmares at the same time. I cannot fathom his hurt, his pain his shame and I hurt for him.
I just wish I could call him and let him know I care.