23 February, 2009

I am a worryer

I constantly worry about how I come across to people, am I loving? Am I awful? Do I laugh too loud? Am I taking up too much space? Do you like me as a person? Do you just want me to leave?
Why does God love me? Why did Jesus have to die that way? When will I stop being so stubborn and just listen to His will for me? How can I live for Him today and still be me?
These questions plague me night and day. I fall asleep asking questions of myself, talking to God about what I am feeling. I wake up not feeling relief about my questions but happy that I was able to ask them!

Everywhere I turn, the Sermon on the Mount is being taught. Last semester at Downtown, my wednesday night Bible study, random days in chapel and at my home church! (I was there last Sunday). I think I am finally getting that I need to just read it for myself. I went through the things etched in memory the Beattitudes, the Lord's Prayer (I know it in KJV...Catholic-style) and then, there it was hidden at the end of Matthew 6:25-34.

Each day has its own trouble. hmmmmmmmmmmm

1 comment:

  1. I love you as a person. And there's no such thing as laughing too loud. Really.