sick

its no fun being sick
especially when people think you have mono
then they call you and warn of the dangers of liver damage, hepatitis C and death
scare you into wanting to go to the doctor again
i almost do
but if i dont have mono, then what?
and if i do, then what?
they cant do anything about it at all.
rest is preferred, but im stubborn about that.
theres too much that i want to be involved in.

dear God,
please help me know what to do. im scared and sick and exhausted with the worlds choices. whats your advice?
i love you
courtney