I swear the next day, half of the things on the list on the post before this were fixed.
I know my senior sem (now, just waiting for a script and a cast)
I had a wonderful birthday weekend!
Yes, I work long hours but they are FUN hours!
The walk to class isnt so bad on a bike (however, late night rehearsals are killing me! Im terrified to walk that far at night!)

Ok, and this year....i got AWESOME gifts/presents/acts of service from my friends! Dinner and lunch and dessert and cake and pedicures and shopping trips and and and and. The list can go on! The most special thing that happened was that my Momo Glo (my dads mom) called me on my birthday for the first time in 12 years. See, this time 12 yrs ago, my grandpa (Big Daddy) was in the hospital, dying of lung cancer and diabetes, we went to visit on that day(have we talked about my love for hospitals?) and he sang my happy birthday. As far as I know, those were his last words until he died six days later. Its a tough time for her and for all of my family, she has been excused. But yesterday was made all the more special for me because of her phone call. Ive stored it as a treasure in my heart.

Anyway, my classes are going ok and im one week closer to graduation! I think being 22 makes me more ready than ever which is odd, but true. Its time to get busy livin' or get busy dyin'

I am supposed to to graduate this fall
I still don't have a senior sem
I can't plan anything for my birthday
I don't have any money
I have a long walk to class
I work long hours
I miss my friends
I miss seeing people
I hate this right now so much
so much

I am tired and stressed and Im sitting at the desk right now and I want to cry. But I have to put my big girl panties on and get the hell over it.

Sister, you've been on my mind
Sister, we're two of a kind
So, sister, I'm keepin' my eye on you.

I betcha think I don't know nothin'
But singin' the blues, oh, sister,
Have I got news for you, I'm something,
I hope you think that you're something too

Scufflin', I been up that lonesome road
And I seen alot of suns going down
Oh, but trust me,
No-o low life's gonna run me around.

So let me tell you something Sister,
Remember your name, No twister
Gonna steal your stuff away, my sister,
We sho' ain't got a whole lot of time,
So-o-o shake your shimmy Sister,
'Cause honey the 'Shug' is feelin' fine.

I watched "The Color Purple" today and this song stuck out to me. Its called "Miss Celie's Blues". Miss Celie is the focus character of the movie and the song is sung by Shug Avery....the mistress of Celie's husband. By this time in the movie, they have become friends. This is a song of trust and hope sung from one woman to another.
No matter what they had put each other through, that bond lasted and continued and was strengthened!
WOW.

At camp on Friday night we have a night of sharing, singing and praying called Family Forum. Campers are encouraged to share what they have learned, struggles and victories that they have felt in the past week. So many come forward and share things and then are prayed over by their friends/ brothers and sisters in Christ afterwards. The love felt in that place is overwhelming.
As a counselor, it is different to watch this night. I am flooded with sympathy, empathy and prayers for each camper I have called my own. Filled with pride for their victories and happiness if they say that I have been able to help.
But this post isn't about them.
Its about what happens when the room clears out and there are just a few people left. One of my girls sat with another counselor and so I went to give support for her, to let her know I was there, to comfort her. And we did. We listened to her and prayed after. And then we hugged her. And then a friend hugged me. I thought it was just a hug but for some reason he wouldn't let go.
And then, the tears came. Without warning from me, he knew what I needed right then and there was support. And he gave it.
I still don't know how he knew, or why he decided to hang on to the hug but he did. And even though I've told him thank you, I still wonder why you know, and I still wanna say thank you over and over because the theme of the week was Encounters with God, and I know that He was there for me that night.
So thank you friend, for showing me God. Thank you very much.

Killer Tofu

remember all the stuff we wanted off of TV growing up? Remember all the shows that were AWESOME? well, if you dont, go here. Its like failblog but it wins and makes you awfully nostalgic for the old days :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p7c3bQQmwVE

I have been told the parables of Jesus since birth. No really, thats what happens when you grow up CoC- the parables get ingrained into you. You hear them over and over and accept what you are told about them, no questions asked. Ever.

But then you hear it. The story is no longer just another Sunday School lesson. Its God, speaking to you telling you something you need to hear, prompting you to ask questions;Do I believe what has been fed to me or do I have my own faith? Who am I in this story? What can I do to not be that person?

Todays question is "Am I really worth it to leave those 99 sheep to come and find me?"
Wherever I ended up getting off the path, am I important enough to leave others unattended? Do I resent those who come in last and get the same amount as I did for less work? Why do I care about the amount of work when its for your glory? How much longer until I realize I can stop feeding pigs and come home?

Ok, so more than one question but we read more than one parable. And there are so many more to read and let God speak to me through. How is God speaking to you?

There is something in my spirit that has loved the places books are able to take me. This love was instilled as soon as I taught myself how to read and it has never left. I've never found a book that could get the best of me, I eventually finish everything. In some cases, I simply never put the book down and read until it is finished.

Needless to say, the summer I was 16 I drove three places, to work, home from work and to the library. I have this system, wander down an aisle and pick up books with interesting artwork/titles and read the back. If the summary seemed to be something that remotely interested me, I would read it. I have read many random books that way!

One book I picked up was called "Summer Promise". It was the first book in a series about a girl who was 15. Her name was Christy Miller and she lived this way cool life in California with friends who loved God. It took me a bit(maybe a month) to track down all the books but I did it and read her entire love story with God and the man who he made for her (the series ends with her graduating college and getting married). The author saw fit to pen books for two other important characters in Christy's life. Sierra and Katie. I have been reading the Katie series for the last three years (one book every summer) and love how this fictional character goes through some of the same struggles I go through. Anyway, this last book is called Coming Attractions. It hints at the things God has planned for our lives as coming attractions and that we are to wait on him until they arrive. At one point in the book, Katie writes herself this reminder of God's plan:
Dear Katie, I have it all figured out. Keep trusting me and stay tuned for coming attractions. Don't forget: You too are a victim of my grace.
Love, God
The grace-victim thing will be another post for another day :)

With all the thinking about my future, graduation and what I will do after, it is hard to remember that God knows. When I ask for his guidance he will be there in the still small whisper as long as I am still and waiting for his answer.

Wow, this post turned out to be longer than I expected but I wanted to leave you with this verse

Point out the road I must travel;
I'm all ears, all eyes before you.


Teach me how to live to please you,
because you're my God.
Psalm 143:8, 10