Then she lived......

In just a few short days, my career as a student here will be over. I will have completed an entire stage of my life and entered a new one.

That is just SO weird. I cannot believe that 4 1/2 years has gone by so fast. I suppose I realize that people move on and grow up. They leave Harding and thrive even apart from the people who have loved and supported them for the time they lived here. I am amazed that I made it through this! There were times I thought I wouldn't return, there were times when I knew I wasn't good or smart enough. I can't believe I have a job after this. Starting January 4, I will be employed. I will have to request time off and have responsibilities to enrich children's lives.

And I am terrified.

Even though I am not a big sharer of things in my life, I don't know what to do without people who are willing to do that. I have friends at home but the relationships there have been limited by the time I get to visit. Will they like me on a long-term basis? Where can I find friends my own age? What does God hold in my future? These questions plague me as I prepare to leave the comfort of college.

Seeing as I have just over a week left as a resident of Searcy, Arkansas I will figure out a way to relish time here with those I love. Because as much as it hurts to admit, I was loved here. I found out I could be loved here and for that Searcy- I can't hate you.

And I just hate to say goodbye.......

Lets face it.
Im leaving. Im graduating and leaving
Its a long time coming and I am so ready for it. The work that I have left to do is nearly overwhelming me but I know I can do it. The time I have here is short and full of time-consuming activities but
I feel empty
I feel as if I leave HU having done nothing significant, not having touched anyone, that I haven't left any sort of legacy.
Im sort of glad I only have two weeks left here-its not fun to be on the "I only gave a little" end of a relationship. truly, HU has given me so many memories, friendships and opportunities that I couldn't have gotten in other places

Ill just fade into the sea of faces of people who flew under the radar